infusion

Telling you that death is near
has been by far
the most challenging task.
I had hoped to express
how my mind
festers in this scene
amongst the glow of the sterile living.

Could I tell you that the medicine is killing you,
that the electric waves of pain
will only be magnified by the "treatment"
I have to offer(infuse).

Could you breath easier
knowing that you could drift
slowly-yet-peacefully
into the darkness
if you only let me walk away.

Life is nothing in this place:
we are merely decaying cells
of clinical interest
and medical education.

I know I am being selfish
hoping you would see the world
through my tainted lens.

Yet, it is fear
that truly drives me to this end;
praying to an unknown diety
to take you
from their hope.

For if my mind
far more than my body
were to escape
my control
I would loose the reigns
and slip into that darkness
that I dream will bring peace.

carolina nights

I wish I could hold you
and tell you all that burns
in my soul for you.

Believe me dear,
it is far more than the sensual
lust with which I constantly speak.

For as the distance grows farther
my eyes grow tired of trying
to find your figure in the humid mist.

Because they burn and tear
each time I think of you
or speak your liquid name.

care package

Seeing your handwriting today
makes me yearn for the sight
of your delicate hands.

The thin lines of your digits
reaching out to hold me;
the beauty of their shear gauntness.

Take my hands,
destroyed by the scouring force of disease
and the fetid compulsion to shred and tear
at ones own flesh.

Take them,
and make them whole again my love
and behold
the interdigitating juxtaposition.